I struggled to find a place for this scene! It was one of my favorites. But, alas, as Dan and Kat’s story approached 500 pages, I realized it would have to be cut. Really, it could have gone almost anywhere. A “human moment” between them, where Kat is uncharacteristically vulnerable and Dan responds with characteristic empathy. . . and curse words. Always curse words. <3
I hope you enjoy.
Deleted Scene: Cry Porn
I sniffed, wiping my nose and pressing the tissue to my lips. My stunned and horrified gaze darted from the computer screen to Dan. He also looked stunned and horrified. And worried.
I’d been caught.
“Nothing.” I shut the laptop hastily and jumped to my feet, knowing my eyes were rimmed red and my face was likely blotchy.
“Kat, you’re sitting here crying.” He ventured further into the room, glancing around as though a monster hid in one of the corners. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s honestly no big deal.”
Coming to stand in front of me, he glared at my computer, then softened his expression as it moved over me. “Kit-Kat, tell me what’s wrong. Please.”
“Dan, I promise, it’s not—”
“I’ll do anything, anything you need. Just let me help make this right for you, whatever it is? Was it your cousin? Did he—”
“It was YouTube!” I dropped my chin, my hair falling forward. His concern was breaking my heart. But mostly, I felt embarrassed. Really, really embarrassed.
He paused before asking, “What? What was YouTube?”
“I was . . .” I motioned to the computer screen but didn’t give him my eyes. “You know, watching videos on YouTube.”
“What kind of videos?” He fit a finger under my chin, forcing my gaze back to his.
Taking a deep breath, I admitted reluctantly, “Sad ones.”
He blinked. “Like what?”
“Like—like… this little girl,” my attention moved over his shoulder as I confessed, “who had a dog, and the dog loved her so much he would walk with her everywhere she went. And then the dog got hit by a car, saving her. It was so sad. And then the other dog stepped up and took care of her. And then that dog—”
“Whoa, wait a minute. Calm down.” He pulled me into a hug as my voice cracked, smoothing his hand down my hair. “Do you know this girl? Is that why you’re upset?”
“No. I don’t know her. I—I—I do a thing, and I’m not proud of this thing. But I do it nevertheless, whenever I need to . . .” I gripped the front of his suit, unable to continue my sentence and admit that I was a total weirdo.
“Whenever I need to cry,” I said on a rush, a wave of mortification rushing downward from my forehead to my toes. Crap. This was the worst. THE WORST! Gah!
“I don’t . . .” He held me away, gripping me by the shoulders, his narrowed eyes sweeping over my face. “I don’t understand.”
“I watch cry porn,” I spit out the truth.
“Uh. . .” Dan glanced around the room looking seriously confused, “You mean you, like, watch people having sex while they cry?”
“No! No, not that. It’s, like, youtube videos of sad-happy things,” I explained, looking everywhere but at Dan, my voice quiet. “Like, soldiers coming home from active duty and surprising their kids at school. Or, stories about bravery, puppies, enduring love—that kind of thing. Things that I know will make me . . .”
I just wanted to disappear into the carpet.
“Oh,” he said thoughtfully, and then added, “Like the first ten minutes of Up.”
Startled, I looked at him. “Pardon?”
“The first ten minutes of the movie Up, the Pixar movie?” He lifted his eyebrows, his expression free of judgement. “You know, with the kids, and they’re so cute. And the girl has moxie, ya know? And when they grow up they get married and they’re so fucking happy, but they try to have babies and. . .” Dan’s face twisted and re-arranged itself, his eyes losing focus. “Then they’re at the doctor and she’s crying, and you know he’s got to feel so fucking helpless, ‘cause he loves this woman,” he tapped his chest, using his hands to give emphasis to his words, “like, love-loves her, and he can’t give her the one thing she wants the most.” He swiped at his eyes.
I stared at him in wonder. “It makes you cry?”
“Yes. It’s the worst. Saddest fucking ten minutes of any movie ever. Damn Pixar and their sad movies. What’d you call it?”
“Yeah. Fucking cry porn. That movie is the cry-porniest.”
I laughed at that—at him and me and us—wiping my eyes and sniffing. Of all the reactions I’d been expecting, acceptance and empathy hadn’t been on the list.
He was amazing.
Meanwhile, Dan lifted the screen of my laptop and reached for the box of Kleenex. “So, what are we watching? And should I get more tissues?”
Available March 6, 2018!
by Penny Reid
Released: March 6th 2018
Series: Knitting in the City #7
Published by Cipher-Naught
There are three things you need to know about Kat Tanner (aka Kathleen Tyson. . . and yes, she is *that* Kathleen Tyson): 1) She's determined to make good decisions, 2) She must get married ASAP, and 3) She knows how to knit.
Being a billionaire heiress isn't all it's cracked up to be. In fact, it sucks. Determined to live a quiet life, Kat Tanner changed her identity years ago and eschewed her family's legacy. But now, Kat's silver spoon past has finally caught up with her, and so have her youthful mistakes. To avoid imminent disaster, she must marry immediately; it is essential that the person she chooses have no romantic feelings for her whatsoever and be completely trustworthy.
Fortunately, she knows exactly who to ask. Dan O'Malley checks all the boxes: single, romantically indifferent to her, completely trustworthy. Sure, she might have a wee little crush on Dan the Security Man, but with clear rules, expectations, and a legally binding contract, Kat is certain she can make it through this debacle with her sanity--and heart--all in one piece.
Except, what happens when Dan O'Malley isn't as indifferent--or as trustworthy--as she thought?
Under the Covers is graciously giving away
SIGNED copy of DATING-ISH
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