Warm up the mince pies and get out the cherry brandy, we are soon to be visited by our favourite jolly man in red. Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Papai Noel, Babbo Natale, Swiety Mikolaj…however, you say it we all all rubbing our hands in anticipation. Or atleast…some of us are, those of us who have been good, if you’ve been naughty you might be left with nothing but a lump of coal. So, us ladies at UTC and some of our favourite authors have written our letters to the big man, you know to put in a few requests and maybe explain a few things…Enjoy!
I think I’ve been pretty good this year. In any case, I try to limit being naughty to certain situations, if you know what I mean. I don’t need anything material for myself. I live in a city apartment that’s already packed to the gills, so it’s best not to accumulate any more stuff. What I’d like is actually kind of complicated. It’s probably impossible, but I’m going to ask anyway: a time machine. Please. Pretty please? Then maybe I could balance family time and my writing life better, adding a few hours onto both and leaving everyone happier at the end of the day. That would be fantastic. And really good for my sanity. Thank you for considering my request. I’ll be waiting—just in case!
Otherwise, if you have time, it would be awesome if you could consider some of the following things…
Please magically make:
- me in shape again, even though I haven’t had time to exercise in 3 years, 7 months, and 24 days (but who’s counting?).
- the hideous, orangey-brown, wall-to-wall carpeting in my apartment disappear and be replaced by beautiful, hardwood floors.
- orgasms a guaranteed thing for all women.
- my wine cupboard fully stocked, always.
- allergies disappear from the world.
- my nights consist of eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. (What’s that, Santa? You laughed?)
Please take away:
- dangerous idiocy
Please give us more:
- acts of kindness
- fabulous romance novels
- kick-ass heroines like Wonder Woman
- half-hour comedies like Friends
Thank you for your hard work, Santa. I know your main job is to make kids happy, but any time to spare for the adults would be much appreciated. Good luck on Christmas Eve, and enjoy the cookies and milk we’ll put out for you!
[new-release title=”Heart on Fire” author=”Amanda Bouchet”]
This year has gone by so damn quickly. I felt like I didn’t accomplish much but actually, when I broke it down, I was able to see all I’ve done this year. 2017 marks the first full year of me being an author. I guess that’s explains why I feel like this year went by so fast. With blogging, work, and writing, I haven’t had much time for anything else. Three books probably doesn’t feel like a lot to others, but it’s a dream come true for me.
All my past letters to you have involved me asking for David Gandy but this time, I’ve finally accepted that maybe your powers are not all that mighty. No, that’s not me being naughty and trying to pick a fight with you. I’ve been good this year, I swear.
But this year, I’m asking for something a little more achievable. I want the power of teleportation. Yes, that’s right. There are people on the other side of the world that I want to go and visit so if I can teleport there at a moment’s notice, that would be great…although now that I think about it, the power to control time wouldn’t be so bad either. I’ll let you decide which would suits me best.
Anyway, I hope you have a Merry Christmas and enjoy the milk and cookies I’ve set out for you.
Until next time,
from Under the Covers
How are you? How’s the weather? Are you ready for the big night? Are my questions working to butter you up…? Because let’s be real. We both know this year wasn’t exactly my, ahem, best. Personally I like to think of myself more on the side of nice than naughty… But I think we can both agree my Christmas-present-status is in jeopardy.
Fine, I can admit my faults. I’m late. A lot. Pretty much all the time. Okay, fine, I can’t remember the last time I was punctual to something or for something or even remotely got close to meeting a reasonable deadline. Sometimes I go a little over the speed limit. Sometimes I go a lot over. Let’s not split hairs over what we consider speeding and what we consider a last ditch effort to get the kids to school before lunch. There was that time in Costco… on a Saturday… But it was Costco on a Saturday! And if I didn’t make the cut, that other woman shouldn’t either.
Ahem. Sorry, I got off track. What I’m trying to say is that nobody is perfect! And me least of all. But if you could find it in your big, jolly heart this holiday season to leave something under my tree that isn’t coal, I would really, truly, absolutely love an elf. Just one! But yes, I want an elf.
I have five children, as you know. And there is just so much dirty laundry. And the dishes situation is kind of out of control. Also there are toys in literally every room of the house- even the bathrooms. Have you seen the LEGO crisis in the basement? You know as well as I do, I could use some help- as in the permanent, paid kind.
So, if you could spare just one elf to hang out with me at the house… maybe take control of the laundry… maybe, actually fold the laundry… possibly match all of the single socks to their missing partners… then, maybe I could start getting somewhere on time. And then I wouldn’t need to speed. And surely, if my laundry was done, I would be more patient at Costco. (At least every day of the week but Saturday.)
I would be nice. I would even pay the little guy. (I mean, do you even do that? What’s the benefit situation for North Pole Elves? Is there an Elf Union?) My kids would play with him. And you could even visit. Once a year. Around Christmas time. When you’re dropping off the goods. I’m just saying, it could work! Think about it.
PS, I promise to try harder next year!
[new-release title=”Constant” author=”Rachel Higginson”]
I’ve given up on asking for Jason Momoa, especially when that whole thing this December got so messed up. I mean, I really thought you were finally coming through for me this year! But I should’ve known better than to have my expectations so high.
However, I was very happy that you brought to my door BLOOD FURY early, so I think I’m going to forgive you for the Momoa mishap a few weeks ago and give you a vote of confidence.
This year was an especially hard one for me so I think I’m leaving my usual naughty wishes aside and just asking for what I really really really want. Time. I know you can’t give me more of it, but maybe you can make it go slower so I can get more done? Help me out here!
Alright, if you can’t do that I’ll settle for a nice vacation. I’m thinking me, some white sand, blue water, a fruity cocktail in one hand and a book in the other. OK, fine. My husband can come too, if you insist.
You think you can handle that this time, big guy?
from Under the Covers
PS: If you really want to fill my year with joy, maybe it’s about time you bring me that new puppy I keep hinting for!
I’ve been a goodish girl this year. This might be a shocker, but I’m not going to ask for something big like donuts to cure diseases. What I’d really, really like? More hours added to each and every day. I’ve got a lot of work to do and–
No? That’s all you’re going to say to me? What do you mean, impossible?!
All right. What I’d really like is for your elves to do all my work for me. I mentioned I’ve got a lot of deadlines stacked up, right, and—
No again? Seriously? What do you mean, the elves are afraid to write about demons and the afterlife and gods of war?
Fine. What I’d really like is for some of my fictional characters to come to life—and by “some” I mean “all of the males.” Just make sure they know I’m still in charge and—nope, don’t you do it, Santa! Don’t you dare say—
Argh! Fine. Whatever. I’ll work with the time I’ve got, do my own writing, and visit my characters in their stories rather than real life. So, what I’d really like for Christmas is a new year filled with family, friendships, and joy, where dreams come true. But don’t worry, Santa. I don’t need your help with this one. I’ve got this in the bag! You can bring me a miniature donkey.
[new-release title=”Can’t Get Enough” author=”Gena Showalter”]
I know what you’re thinking, Noely Clark is going to ask for a Mercedes, or three new pairs of Louis Vuittons, or even a giant man box of Oreos, but you’re wrong. I’m not even sure you can fulfill my wish this year, but it won’t hurt to ask, right?
So here it goes . . .
I’m a very lucky girl, Santa, I’ve been blessed with an amazing job, a loving family, and a brilliant group of friends, but there is one thing missing; someone to love me. I understand this is Cupid’s department, but I thought I might as well ask. So all I want for Christmas, the one and only thing, is a man who can make me laugh, who will love me unconditionally, and a man who has no problem watching every Tom Hanks movie ever made with me. If he’s cute with big hands, then that’s a bonus. Extra candy canes for you, my jolly man, if he’s a magician in bed.
Thank you and Ho Ho Ho!
Your girl – Noely
[new-release title=”Three Blind Dates” author=”Meghan Quinn”]
Want to read more letters?
Check out the previous years posts – click here
Day 12 Prize Pack
LEOPARD’S BLOOD by Christine Feehan
BOUND TOGETHER by Christine Feehan
SWEET RUIN by Kresley Cole
SLAVE TO SENSATION by Nalini Singh
SIGNED copy of THE GUARDIAN by Sherrilyn Kenyon
HARD BREAKER by Christine Warren
One winner will receive the bundle of books pictured
Open internationally, sponsored by Under the Covers
Winners for all 12 Days of Christmas prizes
will be selected December 26, 2017
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