Mind Spill: Hard Limits

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Hard Limits: What are yours?

If you have read Fifty Shades of Grey or it seems any other BDSM book since, you may be familiar with the contract set out between a Dom and his sub explaining their hard and soft limits; what they absolutely will never ever do and will invoke the safe word and what they might do with a little coaxing. So after a hilarious discussion with the UTC girls one boring Thursday night (Suz!)/late Thursday morning (Fran, Ang & Annie!) we got to discussing what our hard limits for our books were, what situation would have us shrieking out our safe word and chucking the book across the room?
Now, between us we read enough erotic romance to keep the industry going so we like to think we are open minded, and although we might not like to do some of the things we read about, it will probably get us reaching for the nearest vibrator/boyfriend/dildo/husband around to relieve the ache. But we do have some limits, that not even our favourite authors could get us to read and enjoy and here are our top three:
INCEST– It doesn’t come up often, but when it does, the book goes straight in the DNF- Burn Immediately Pile, never to be heard from again.
BEASTIALITY– Why would you do that to a poor animal? This has mainly come up with some shifter stories we have read, and although the wolf may be a man on the inside, that doesn’t mean he can put his wolf tongue or any other wolf parts in your vagina whilst he is furry and you are not. No. BAD DOGGY!
FISTING– It just doesn’t do anything for us; it is like the female equivalent of being punched in the nuts. Not. Sexy. Phallic shaped objects, fingers and (human) tongues only! Why loosen yourself up, no one wants a flappy vagina!
These were our main three, although things like forced seduction and golden showers *cringes* came up as well! So tell us, what are your hard limits?
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All of the above and rape between D/s…cannot and will not be forgiven.

Maria D.

All of the above including cheating, blood play – yeah not my thing at all – I don’t mind ropes and spankings but when you get to the point of blood – I have to draw the line.


Needles, blood play, knives and the ones mentioned already, although i’m kinda wishy washy on the cheating thing. i’m a sub with a vanilla husband and, i have an online Dom that my husband knows nothing about. It’s the only way i get to be any sort of sub which is my biggest desire/need.

Aly P


Anne good call about the cheating. I’d add blood play, cutting, extreme pain(that makes me shudder, delete the book and go get my chocolate), branding(why the hell would you do that?!)


Agreed on all the above and I’d add Threesomes. Yes, I know, considering this is erotica, a threesome is probably pretty tame, but I just can’t get into it – it does nothing for me.

Monica V.

I enjoyed reading BDSM when it first became popular, but now it think there is way too much of it out there. I think LIGHT BDSM is OK when used occasionally to spice up a couples sex life. But I’m disturbed at the message being sent to young women and I’m sure there are young girls out there trying out the lifestyle and who may end up being abused. Calling someone Master and being urinated on is just demeaning. Fisting and anal intercourse is potentially extremely painful AND A BIG HARD LIMIT. My favorite BDSM book is One Night With… Read more »


I can go with all of those and I’ll add talking. I can’t stand it

Salacious Reads

Sandy Lion (@SdyLion)

I think the 3 named above would be unforgivable as well as pedophilia. I think individuals have to work their way up as a couple to what fits them. I definitively would be against caning. Sonds like too much pain for me.

Sophia Rose

My reading hard limits are a longer list than yours, but honestly I can’t put my finger on many specifics that haven’t already been mentioned in other comments. I think I must be a reader who when in the right mood can read things that at other times I cringe at. Motives play a big part in what I will tolerate too. Most of the time, I don’t relish actions that I find demeaning particularly if they are meant to be demeaning or actions that are selfish.

I hope that all wasn’t too confusing. Thanks for offering a discussion.

June M.

I don’t have a lot of hard limits. While some things I don’t personally find sexy/intriguing, most things I can say to each his/her own. But I can’t read incest or even pseudo-incest, bestiality, any pedophilia (even reading about 2 under-aged characters consensually is a no-no for me). But things like body fluids (urine, etc) are also on my list of just can’t read. I also don’t get into humiliation/degradation, it just doesn’t do anything for me personally.


You have pretty much covered my hard limits.

Lori Meehan

I agree with you guys. I also am against cheating.
I need to remember not to eat or drink while reading some of your funnier post. I about chocked myself. LMAO

Carin W

I think I have to agree with your three as well as golden showers or fecal matter of any kind. I am with everyone who said pedophilia, not big on cheating either I any kind of humiliation/ demeaning is more of a soft limit where it depends on what is being said and why. I can be fairly open minded about the stuff I read not all of it is a turn on but that doesn’t mean it is an immediate DNF. Loved your post what a fun group you all are. Carin

trish dechant

Any body fluids that are different from the norm. UGH….makes me gag.
Pedophilia is a huge NO and bestiality has a huge gross/ICK and disgusting factor.
And non-consensual sex.
Pretty much what everyone here has said, with the exception of threesomes–;) Love ’em.


All the ones you mentioned as well as golden showers, poop (read this one book-just nausated me) Cheating, cutting, and Rape (or forced “dry” sex-make cringe just typing this …) or the BDSM books that make make the submisive being charactize as an animal more than a person (a book with an example would be The Pet Shop Series-should have figured just by the name but I was told it was a great book-NO it wasn’t…) or group sex (where there is more just a foursome or threesome, I am talk full out orgies where there is 6 or more… Read more »


Nice post. I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon everyday.
It’s always helpful to read articles from other writers and practice a little something from their sites.