I’ve been a very good girl this year. I’ve written two books. I try to comb my hair at least once a day. I make sure the kids have food (mostly). I give to various charities, Kiva being one of my favorites. I don’t give my neighbors the finger. Even when they deserve it. I bake cookies for all my kids’ teachers…no, no I don’t do that….but I think about doing it…okay, very rarely, but once a decade must count. I do try to write an engaging protagonist with great family ties. She only kills people if she *has* to because she’s rockin’ like that, and because she’s so awesome she has a very hunky man in her life (dubbed Mr. Sexypants by some).
Because I’ve been such a good girl, I was wondering if you could wrap up Tom Hardy for me this Christmas? You know, the actor with all the naughty (lickable) tattoos?
It would be a little like re-gifting, but I’d be happy to chalk it up to research and development on my part. Just for a day…or maybe an hour? (An hour may not be enough, but beggars and all that.) If Tom has scrupulous morals, or is adverse to game play involving costumes and slightly heated peanut butter, I will also settle for The Rock, Depp or that hot guy from Battlestar Galactica. (Yes, the Edward James Olmos BSG, and yes, it was a while ago but I still dream about him.) I’m sure my husband won’t mind, as long as you send along Salma Hayek.
If you can’t transport people, because human freewill is too slippery a slope for a jolly supernatural from the Pole to navigate, I’ll just settle for a pair of Ugg slippers.
It gets mighty cold in MN this time of year.
Thanks & Blessings to ALL,
(Author of the Jessica McClain series, FULL BLOODED is available now.)
This year, I came better prepared. Since Dageus MacKelter did not show up in my bed on Christmas morning, I figured that a) you lost him or b) your letter service sucks more ass than liposuction.
So I’ve decided not to ask for a hunky Highlander again this year and instead made a list so that you’ve got plenty of options to choose from.
- David Gandy – this is do-able. He’s a real, live person. Whose fantastic facial structure makes me weep.
- A Lamborghini – to attract the likes of JZB.
- A palace to house my harem of book boyfriends
- A BDB Brother – Anyone would do. I’d be a fool to be picky over the likes of them.
- A new bookshelf since I can no longer find the three I already own amidst all the stacks of books.
If none of those are do-able then I’ll settle for a pair of boxers that say “It’s only kinky at first” 🙂
Ann from UTC
First of all, I want to apologize for all the times I was naughty this year. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all the bad words I said, all the dirty fantasies I wrote down and all the wine I consumed. I would like to say that I will behave much better in 2013, but who are we kidding?
If you’re okay with the cussing, drinking and sexy stories, then there are just a few things on my Christmas wish list.
- Peace on Earth. It’s a biggie, I know, but I have too many former students serving overseas in dangerous places and I’d love to have them home safe and sound.
- For my family and friends to have a healthy and prosperous new year. I really don’t want anyone falling off the fiscal cliff.
- I’d sort of like the world not to end on Dec. 21. I have some kick-ass naughty (er, I mean new) releases coming out in 2013 and an amazing trip planned to Kansas City for the Romantic Times Convention. I really want to go!
- I would love for my kids to be happy for the rest of their lives—to find good jobs that fulfill them and prospective partners who love them.
- I’m never opposed to awesome stocking stuffers and some some new books by my favorite authors like Bianca D’Arc, Eden Bradley, RG Alexander, Lila Dubois, Lexxie Couper, Rhian Cahill, Sami Lee, and Cari Quinn would really fit the bill.
- Finally, I hope for everyone reading this letter to have a wonderful holiday season filled with love, joy and surrounded by the ones closest to their heart.
Thanks for listening, Santa.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan. But I’m not sure this letter-writing thing actually works. Last time I wrote, I ended up a very disappointed second grader with NO waterbed. (Seriously, that was way uncool.) Nevertheless, I’m willing to give this another try…
I’m pretty sure I was nice this year with only a smidge of naughty, like 80–20. Well, after I met Annie from UTC, it maybe went to 60–40. But a large percentage of that change is her fault for posting all the Gandy Candy. I mean, look…
Seriously, what is a girl to do?? You should be impressed I didn’t end up straight on the “naughty” list with no hope of return!
Okay, so I only have one thing on my wish list this year. I’d like a Time-Turner. You know, like the one Hermione Granger uses in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Now I’m not going to put stars around it or arrows pointing to it like I did with “waterbed” on my second grade wish list, just in case that was viewed as overly obnoxious and somehow factored into your non-wish-grant decision. But since it is the ONLY thing I’m asking for this year, surely you will understand how important it is for me to have it. You see, I need more time to read. These pesky things like “work” and “taking care of my family” get in the way of my reading time, so a Time-Turner would really help me out. And I promise to take all the necessary precautions to make sure my past self doesn’t run into my future self, yadda yadda yadda.
That’s it! Easy peasy, right? And, although I’m not one to normally throw down ultimatums…if I don’t get my Time-Turner this Christmas, I’m going straight to NaughtyTown with Gandy and never looking back. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
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